This comfort with group assessment of femininity in turn reminds me of the ease with which women’s choices regarding their bodies, futures, health, sex, and family life are up for public evaluation. Women are labeled as good or bad, as moral or immoral, by major religions and “closely held corporations,” whose rights to allow those estimations to dictate their corporate obligations are upheld over the rights of the women themselves by high courts.

I wish it were different. I wish that every woman whose actions and worth are parsed and restricted, congratulated and condemned in this country might just once get to wheel around … and go black in the eyes and say, “I don’t fucking care if you like it.”

I think one of the most powerful things anyone can do is learn to make decisions and take actions purely for yourself. Our culture is so obsessed with how our actions are seen by or affect everyone around us. Learning to live your life separate from that judgment is empowering.